My wife and I have been married for 32 years, and we have remained childless by choice.

We decided long ago that we did not want to bring any children into this world. I realize now that not having a child is one of the most radical acts of defiance one can commit in our society…

I’ve never had any regrets about our decision, though. Not once. Every day I am more convinced we made the right choice. Unfortunately, most people don’t consider child rearing to be a choice; they just do it. Half of all pregnancies in America are still unplanned.

Luckily, neither Val nor I had parents who were selfish enough to demand grandchildren from us. They allowed us to make our own decisions and because we both grew up in an environment free of religious dogma, there was never a stigma attached to being childless.

We never bought into the argument that children are “blessings” or “miracles,” either. Children are simply the result of a biological process — a process that we can now control, thanks to the wonders of (not so) modern science.

Childless marriage is an option more and more couples are choosing; a childless lifestyle can be happy and fulfilling in many ways. The traditional status quo in most societies involves procreation. After all, many people ask, why even bother to get married if not to have children, be fruitful and multiply or carry on the family?

Hmmm, I don’t know. How about love? Companionship?

Children are certainly not a requirement for marital bliss. Studies have shown that in many cases having children can be a major hindrance to a relationship. A recent “Understanding Society” study in the UK showed that young married couples without children have the most satisfying relationships.

Kids aren’t for everybody. Many couples enjoy their time together and aren’t willing to do anything that might jeopardize their relationship. They feel content in their marriages and don’t see the need to have children to make their lives complete.

Fifty percent of all marriages in this country end in divorce, and growing emotionally apart due to lack of intimate time together is a major contributor to unhappy marriages. Bringing a child into the mix can produce all kinds of unforeseen changes and greatly increase the tension in a relationship. Couples have less time and energy for sex, less leisure time to be together socially, less discretionary income and far more responsibilities. These changes can all put tremendous stress on a marriage – even one that’s solid.

Childless couples who have had the opportunity to be around friends and family with children recognize that even if they like kids, the lifestyle and the sacrifices they’d have to make to be good parents are simply not for them.

My wife and I are the only members of our family who have decided to go this route, but we certainly don’t feel deprived. As much as we enjoy the company of children, we are grateful for the opportunity to go back home to our quiet little house and our six cats. They are our children.

Some of the annoying comments childless people have to put up with:

“You’ll miss out on being a parent.” I certainly don’t want to have a kid just because I might regret not having one. Unfortunately, even if you love your kids, there is no guarantee they will love you back. Children can be wonderful little angels, but they can also make your life a living hell — especially when they grow up and move into your basement because they can’t find a job.

“You’ll have no one to care for you when you’re old.” If you have to use this as an excuse to make babies, then you are truly sick. There’s no guarantee that your children will be there to take care of you when you’re old. I’ve heard enough stories of elderly people wasting away in rest homes who never get a visit from their children to be fooled by that logic.

“What’s a marriage without children?” It’s extremely fulfilling, thank you very much.

“You’re selfish if you don’t want children.” If you insist on going there, I look at it this way: You’re selfish for thinking the world needs to be populated with your genetic spawn. Sorry, but there are more than enough children in the world. Many of them are starving. Rejecting the natural desire to replicate one’s self for the good of humanity seems pretty darn unselfish to me.

If you ask me, I’d say anyone who can look at the state of the planet today and still want to have children is out of their fucking mind.

Still, even in our supposedly progressive, enlightened society, most people today still seem to get married because they have to, not necessarily because they want to. They’re either expecting a baby or they already have children together and they feel the need to make it “official” for the sake of their family or whatever. Sometimes these arrangements work out; usually, they don’t. Marriage puts a lot of stress on a relationship and I’ve seen too many good ones ruined by it. Why not just live together?

There are many valid reasons to have kids, but I’m sorry to say that there are also far too many parents today who never should have been allowed to have children. It breaks my heart to see so many horrendous crimes committed by parents involved in custody disputes. I’ve grown tired of the almost daily news stories about parents who kill their own children as revenge against their ex-spouses.

How can people have such hatred for someone they’ve had a child with? I just can’t even imagine. How can they justify taking the life of their own flesh and blood? Like the parents who leave their babies in the car while they go play the slots or smoke crack. Clearly, these sociopaths never should have been allowed to reproduce in the first place.

I am truly inspired when I see married couples with children who are genuinely happy. I have seen some really incredible parents, but I’ve also seen some pretty atrocious “what were you thinking?” parents.

Not everyone is cut out to raise a family.

To those of you who were born to be a parent, who always wanted to raise children I say: Please continue to bring forth and nurture positive life energy on our planet. God knows we need it.

If you have any doubts at all about whether you want to be a parent, however, then I say leave it to those who know for sure. Just be certain that whatever path you choose in life is the right one for you.