Coachella 2019 looks pretty crappy to me. Okay, I’m an old fogey, but I scanned through the line-up and all of the online pics from weekend one and there was only one picture of a musician actually playing an instrument. Do any pop acts actually play instruments anymore? And what’s with the K-Pop shit? So now millennials’ tastes have been so dumbed down even K-Pop is cool?

From where I sit it seems like popular music has devolved to where it’s just about who’s got the most outrageous costumes or the most scantily clad dancers gyrating in sync. It’s all pomp and show and stages and sets and lasers and flashing lights. No soul or substance or relevance to anything. Needless to say none of that has the slightest thing to do with music. There isn’t any real need for music at all – it’s simply a beat and a fashion show.

Are young people today really so retarded they actually think that Arianna Grande and Janelle Monae or Chvrches are any good? I have no idea, and I’ve never even heard of most of the acts, I admit. The other acts on the bill appeared to be really angry young black men dressed in ridiculous costumes. The performers are manufactured, slickly-produced dross for the masses.

And for the love of god, Janet Jackson headlines next weekend. Seriously?

Her last “hit” was what, like thirty years ago? Is that really the best they can do? Clearly the organizers are hurting for relevant acts these days. WTF? Did all the good artists turn down the gig? Sheesh, not even, like, Kendrick Lamar or Taylor Swift! Okay so they do have Childish Gambino and Tame Empala, and I see Ty Segall is playing…but N’Sync? Pusha T? Bad Bunny? C’mon! How much do you have to pay to get into Coachella? Hardly seems worth it to me.

Coachella just seems like a major fuck job. Tightly controlled environment; over aggressive security; elite guest lists; the stifling heat. Plus outrageously overpriced food and drink and busloads of rich, self-obsessed, tattooed, pierced “me, me, me!” types running around taking endless selfies of themselves and their stupid friends.

Coachella represents everything that is wrong with the festival scene. In the UK, going to music festival during ‘festival season’ is a rite of passage for most young people. Music festivals like Glastonbury are broadcast live on the BBC every year, commercial free. That can’t happen here. Not unless some old white guy can make some money off of it. Hell, NOTHING happens in the USA unless some old white guy makes money off of it…no, here you gotta have thousands of mommy’s and daddy’s dollars to afford to go to one of these things.

And riddle me this: for the life of me I can’t understand why supposedly progressive women consider mediocre performers like Ariana Grande or Beyonce or Rhianna or Janet Jackson or Brittney Spears or Madonna role models…or even mildly talented. They are certainly not the pillars of female empowerment they’re made out to be. More like mind-controlled robots. I never knew that to have a career in music you had to dress like a slut and act like a whore.

Men don’t have to do that. If we live in such supposedly enlightened times, why is it that all the female pop artists are expected to perform half-naked? I mean, since when did gyrating around in your underwear ever empower women? I don’t get that. Are women unable to command respect when fully clothed? Ariana’s only able to empower women dressed like a High School cheerleader, I guess. Okay, maybe Taylor Swift defies that trend…but I wouldn’t know…I don’t think I’ve ever heard her music.

But female entertainers often present themselves like meat on a plate. If women continue to show themselves in such a tawdry manner, how can they complain about men and their ugly behavior?

Personally, I like fully clothed women who don’t dance and who play music or sing or do both. If they can sing without using Autotune, that’s an added bonus.