Written by WRITTEN BY J DARENSBURG

Ten rules for using a public men’s room, if you absolutely must:

  1. Do not touch anything
  2. If forced to use a Porta-potty, do not look down
  3. Avoid sitting in the stalls at all costs
  4. If there’s no way to avoid it, use the ‘Handicap’ stall and don’t sit next to anyone
  5. Do not make eye contact with anyone
  6. Make as much noise as possible while urinating if someone is in a stall
  7. Breathe through your mouth
  8. Ignore the guy having a teleconference as he grunts one out
  9. Put your dick back in your pants before you turn around
  10. Resist the urge to yell “courtesy flush!” as you leave

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