A belief in Santa Claus could have a detrimental effect on parent-child relationships according to a recent study in the medical journal Lancet Psychiatry. The paper suggests that a child’s moral compass could be permanently damaged by what is normally part of the Christmas tradition: being lied to about Santa Claus.

The darker reality is that lying to children – even about something seemingly so fun and frivolous – undermines their trust in adults and leaves them open to “abject disappointment” when they discover that the magic isn’t real. If we are asked to believe in things that we cannot see and our parents lie to us about the mystery, it may lead to an unhealthy glorification of materialism and a potential loss of faith in everything else, according to the study.

The authors concluded that there is potential for children to be harmed by these lies. “The Santa myth is such an involved lie, such a long-lasting one between parents and children that if a relationship is vulnerable, this may be the final straw. If parents can lie so convincingly and over such a long time, what else can they lie about?”

Indeed. Some parents even use the judgement of Santa Claus as a tool of control and punishment for children under the stress of the Holidays. It’s probably not the best parenting tool to make your kids behave. You’re talking about a mythical being deciding whether your children receive presents or not.

Instead of lying to our kids about Santa Claus, or anything else – invisible deities, angels, demons, saviors rising from the dead – it would make more sense to instill early in children an appreciation of education and knowledge; a love of all forms of life; good health, and care for the natural beauty that is all around us…before it’s too late.

But of course for some reason, people feel the need to lie to their kids about Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Stork; Jesus/Allah/Buddha/Jehovah/whatever. Turns out you can reframe any old bullshit and still be OK with it when it comes to child-rearing. I never understood why lying to children was such a capstone of parenting. No wonder I never had kids…

The authors of the Santa Claus study are convinced that the “collective lie on a global scale” persists because humans have a strong tendency to conform, even when their behavior is illogical. The evidence suggests that most adults also have a strong urge to escape reality through make-believe. Unfortunately this desire never seems to leave.

It’s the first big lesson in life: your parents lie to you; your teachers lie to you, clergymen lie, your friends lie, everyone lies; so it’s okay for you to lie. TRUST NO ONE.

Not a great lesson to teach kids.

Thank Goddess my parents never lied to us about Santa. I’m glad I missed that feeling of betrayal experienced by others. But I was also smart enough not to give away the secret to the other kids. It was like an inside joke in my house. I grew up in a family of devout atheists, so we always treated Santa in the same context as Jesus: two imaginary, totally harmless historical figures.

But there are some folks who say, “Oh, come on. What’s the harm in lying to kids about Santa Claus, for God’s sake?”

There are two levels of harm: The first is the unhealthy vision of childhood as being some kind of precious state where illusions and make-believe have to be maintained before kids  grow up someday and learn the ‘harsh realities’ of life: Peter-Pan, Cinderella, Tinkerbell and all the rest. So this skewed vision of childhood is amplified by constantly feeding kids absurd fables, so the adults can sit around and say, “Oh, isn’t that cute: the gleeful children believing all these silly things we’ve made up!”

How jaded and cynical we are, and how pure and innocent are they! It must be quite a shock when kids find out how easy it is for grown-ups to lie to their faces. What a revelation that must be!

The second danger is the principle of teaching kids that what is wonderful and precious and beautiful in the world is only imaginary, and that illusions and fantasy make life more interesting and exciting than boring old mundane reality.

Yet there is no need for made-up stories of wonders and magic when every day we are surrounded by real, tangible – and not so tangible – wonders. All that’s needed is a little intellectual curiosity and exploration to discover that knowledge is endless and there is so much more mystery and wonder in the real world than we could ever imagine.

So let’s drop all this Santa Claus nonsense. Instead, just be Father Christmas to your children, as our parents were to us when we grew up. Because it was clear to us that the presents under the tree came from mom and dad. That was more than enough.

It was a lot more fun that way, and much more inclusive, and I never had to lose sleep or my childhood illusions, or end up being scarred for life to learn that those I trusted had been telling me lies for so long.