Look what has become of this world! Not even I, in all my cynicism predicted things would go so profoundly wrong in my own lifetime!

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, right?! They just closed the border with Canada, FFS…the longest artificial border on Earth…how long before states follow suit?

This is far worse than 911. After that manufactured crises, President Bush didn’t call for sacrifice. He called for Umerkins to instead go shopping and spend irresponsibly: “Get down to Disney World in Florida,” he said. “Take your families and enjoy life, the way we want it to be enjoyed.”

Well, we sure can’t do that now, can we? Life is no longer meant to be enjoyed. It’s the ‘new normal.’ Get used to it.

I never saw any empty fucking shelves at the grocery stores after 911.

Now, of all things, The Junta wants to alleviate this crisis by simply sending money to every Umerkin in an effort to help “stimulate the economy.”

Wait, what? Giving money to people stimulates the economy? WTF?

How ironic, considering these are the same demons who’ve steadfastly refused to raise the fucking minimum wage in this country for the last 30 years because their pretend economists still, to this day, insist that putting more money into the hands of working people is NOT an economic stimulus.

This “stimulus” runs counter to virtually everything we’ve been told by the neoliberal economists for years, what with all the preaching about keeping wages low and cost-cutting and austerity and all. Neoliberal policies are responsible for the growth of social inequalities in the countries where they have been applied. The major beneficiaries of these regressive policies are always the dominant classes, Our Rulers.

Funny how all their lies and hypocrisy fly right out the window when their FAKE ECONOMY is threatened. Funny how they’re suddenly willing to just give away millions of dollars to citizens for simply staying alive, when all of that money should have been reimbursed to working people decades ago in the form of higher wages, sick leave, child care and other benefits.

If this were an actual, real-live, NON-FAKE economy – that would have already been the case: workers would already be enjoying the fruits of their labor…

So yes, I will accept their fucking blood money…because like most Umerkins, I need it!

But what a typically pathetic solution to this incredibly daunting public health crisis: just bribe everyone in the meantime and let the problem solve itself.

Only criminals think of shit like this.