Just as I predicted 2 years ago when the scandal broke [“Surprise, Surprise!”], Matt Gaetz is off the hook.

Loathsome, slimy republican Representative Matt Gaetz, Donald tRump’s personal Buttboy, said on Wednesday that the justice department has ended a sex trafficking case with no charges against him.

According to The Guardian, Gaetz, who represents the Florida panhandle, issued a statement through his congressional office that the long-running investigation was over. Gaetz had insisted throughout he was innocent of any wrongdoing.

“The Department of Justice has confirmed to Congressman Gaetz’s attorneys that their investigation has concluded and that he will not be charged with any crimes,” the statement said.

Not that he didn’t commit them, mind you. It’s just that he’s just above the law, you see.

Interesting choice of words from the DoJ: the charges were “closed.” This is a perfect example of how things really work in Umerkin politics. Good ole Matt’s best buddy Joel Greenberg was recently convicted of the same offenses Gaetz was charged with – crimes which they were alleged to have committed together, as a team. Former Seminole County tax collector Greenberg was given an 11-year prison term in the sex trafficking case. At his sentencing, Greenberg apologized in court for his ‘shameful conduct’ after pleading guilty to six federal crimes.

Gaetz was right there committing the same crimes alongside him, but he gets to walk free. Chalk up another case involving GOP sex trafficking written off the books.

I expect to see Gaetz nominated as tRump’s VP in 2024.

Nothing to see here, folks, it’s all just a conspiracy theory!