ENGLISH PEOPLE LIKE SONGS
ABOUT THE PEOPLE
IN THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
AND THEY LIKE TO SING ALONG
AND CLAP THEIR HANDS
AND THEY PUSH THE PERAMBULATOR
NOT A BABY CARRIAGE

AND THEY LIKE TO RIDE THE TUBE
TO THE MARBLE ARCH
SO THEY’VE GOT TO MIND THE GAP
AND WAIT IN THE QUE
BUT THEY LIKE TO RAVE ALL NIGHT
IT’S JUST WHAT THEY DO

ENGLISH PEOPLE LIKE TO
VISIT DENMARK STREET
AND TAKE A WALK
DOWN CHARING CROSS
AND THEY LIKE TO GO TO GLASTO
AND EAT THEIR CANDY FLOSS

STROLL DOWN THE HIGH STREET
SAY GOOD DAY TO THE PEOPLE I MEET
TELL THEM TO BUGGER OFF
SEE IT SAW IT SORT IT
IF THEY TAKE THE PISS
LISTEN TO THE BUSKERS
WHERE THE ROUGH SLEEPERS SLEEP

PLEASE DON’T SELL ME THE DUMMY
I DON’T WANT TO COME A CROPPER
NOBODY’S HEARD OF JELLO
OR BAND-AIDS
OR ANY AMERICAN BRANDS
ASK THEM FOR A PLASTER
THEY’LL HELP YOU FASTER

[ON FADEOUT in polite, very English voice]:

“…Roundabouts
And charabancs
Blood sausage
And shepard’s Pie
Pork-pie hats
And when it rains
Don’t forget
to wear your mac…”