BURNING IN HEAVEN (think Spinal Tap):

Jack and Jill

went up the hill

and now they burn in heaven

Jack climbed Jill

but she was on the pill

so now they burn in heaven

Dick and Jane

were doing the same

We’re all burning in Heaven

See Spot Run

from the end of a gun

now he’s burning in Heaven

CHORUS

Burn, baby, burn!

Burning in heaven.

Burning in heaven!

C’mon baby

I just can’t wait

Won’t you let me genuflect

And melt your pearly gates

CHORUS

Burn, baby, burn!

Burning in heaven, etc… (twice)

(SPOKEN WORD INTERLUDE, in thick cockney accent):

“…I didn’t believe in heaven…I woke up there when I died…I looked at God and I said,‘Hey  buddy, You don’t exist! I’m an atheist’ God snapped his fingers and I fried…now I’m burning, oh oh oh oh…I‘m burning in heaven. My punishment is to provide the warmth of the heavenly host…As I continue burning inside.  I’m burning, oh yeah yeah yeah uh uh uh uh ouch! Going down in flames between some angel’s thighs…My spandex chafes, but I’m flying high!”

CHORUS

Burn, baby, burn!

Burning in heaven, etc.,

All American Mom

All Americana Dad

Smiling faces, looking glad

like their apple pie

feeling so sad

they’re burning in heaven

Dr. Seuss

spelled out the clues

Now he’s burning in Heaven

CHORUS

Burn, baby, burn!

Burning in heaven, etc.,

Some people never learn

They only want to burn

Just wait for your turn

You’ll end up in an urn

Cat in the Hat Sam I am

Eating their Green Eggs and Ham

Don’t like Spam

Now they burn in Heaven

CHORUS

Burn, baby, burn!

Burning in heaven, etc.,

Stop and count to seven

Then continue to eleven

When you’re finished

you’ll be in heaven

Burning away in heaven…

CHORUS

Burn, baby, burn!

Burning in heaven. Burning in heaven!

Burn, baby, burn!

Burning in heaven. Burning in heaven!

(Repeat until you puke…)