As a happily childless adult, and after seeing other people everywhere with their cretinous offspring, it’s pretty obvious the human race is doomed.

It is a rare gift indeed to see a well behaved child. Look: I know we’re all fallible, especially children, but still…why won’t those parents even try to discipline their kids?

We must finally abandon the notion that our children are the future.

There is no future. Get over it!

And why do we constantly bitch and moan about population growth when all of the so-called “experts” have families of their own? Oh, right: population is only a problem in THIRD WORLD countries. I get it. Constant population growth is to be rewarded among the Anglo community…

And it’s a shame that parenting has become so all consuming. Does it have to be? I’ve read stories about old friends who completely change after having a kid. They go, “Once you have children, you stop caring about anything else…” Wait…what? Seriously? Holy crap!

They say things like, “I don’t have my own feelings anymore; if my daughter is happy, I’m happy; if she’s sad I’m sad.”

Oh, brother. So you gave up your life to have a kid? What’s the point in that?

What I really love are the parents who proudly proclaim, “You know, until we had (insert pretentious hipster name here _________ ), I never cared about stuff like good schools or politics or healthcare or the environment…but now I sure do!”

Well, gee, thanks a lot, jackass! And people like you want to raise a family? Maybe you should have been paying a little more fucking attention. All of a sudden this shit is important to you? Too late, buddy…

And who needs more imbeciles like that in the world, anyway? I’ve been worried about this stuff ALL MY LIFE. Where the hell have you been?

Which is one of the many reasons why I do not have children. There is a connection, you see. Also note that I have been married for 35 years. There is also a connection.

And when I used to tell people we couldn’t afford to have children anyway people would go, “Oh, haha, well you can never afford children!” So why fucking have them, then? How much sense does that make? It costs around 300K to raise a child from infancy to adulthood nowadays. Keep in mind that figure doesn’t even include college tuition…

And then you see all the little hippie families dressed in tie-dye clothing with six children in tow talking about saving the environment and how eco-friendly they are and how much they love mother Earth. The irony is that – drum roll – having children is the number one worst thing you can do to the environment!! Think about it: Imagine all the waste generated by bringing six more humans into the world. Just the friggin’ diapers alone are enough of a toxic hazard!

My mother was always wonderfully supportive growing up, and Roscoe (my “father”) was bipolar, cynical and brutally honest: both of them; all the time. I don’t think I always appreciated Roscoe’s input but with hindsight the effect was to push me to improve myself to not be like him.

As for good old mother: she is fabulous, but you don’t really listen so much when praise is so uniformly handed out. I suppose between the two it kinda worked.

But that’s where it all begins: in early childhood. Then in school it becomes: “…You can do anything you want to do…be whoever you want to be…Dream big!” What a load of crap.

An over-inflated confidence after so many years of having their “self-esteem” stroked and receiving constant high praise for mediocre performances seems to have created very unstable individuals.

More likely than not they will require psychiatric help, medication, or if one’s arrogance remains particularly loud, vocal and supported by sycophantic enablers: it could lead to the US presidency.