Greetings!

Speaking on behalf of your rulers, thank you for at least trying.

But try as you might, you just can’t win.

As you can imagine, the last thing we want are any more violent uprisings involving major property damage. That will not be tolerated, as civil unrest can have a negative effect on global markets.

We realize that we cannot allow these mass, spontaneous uprisings to grow into a larger movement which at some point might demand more than just superficial changes to our near-perfect society…so we’re willing to grant you a few small concessions now to avoid catastrophe later.

Anything to keep the rabble in line, as we say!

After consulting with members of the Executive Committees of the CFR, Trilateral Commission and the Bilderbergers, we have ordered our puppets in the US government to do some minor “housecleaning” to appease you, the great “unwashed masses.” We see your anger and we hear your pain – and we also know that like children, you are easily pacified.

We know that if we allow our lackeys in both political “parties” to make a few token gestures and pretend that they actually care about you, you will all go back to your miserable lives soon enough and leave us alone.

So here’s our plan: we have already authorized the removal of some “offending” statues from prominent public spaces. Such old fashioned symbols of power and subjugation are no longer necessary to remind you of your enslavement. This is the least we can do. And we mean that.

In some of your less affluent cities we will allow major streets named after famous Confederate war heroes and slave traders to be changed to accommodate the wishes of the horde. We will let you rename some of them things like, ‘The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Boulevard,’ ‘Avenida Cesar Chavez,’ and ‘Harriett Tubman St.’

No skin off our backs.

We have directed some of our business associates to change their corporate logos and in some cases, to even change their brand names. We understand now that some brands like Aunt Jamima and Uncle Ben’s may have seemed offensive to some of you. This was a tough decision, but Mars and Quaker Oats will be fully compensated for making the alterations on our behalf. In the big picture, if it keeps the mob in check, it’s a sacrifice Your Rulers are willing to make.

Confederate flags will be removed from Statehouses across the country, and from imagery on State flags.  Our friends at NASCAR have already followed our directives on this issue. Again, this is a minor concession. Overt symbols of oppression are no longer necessary to keep the people in line. Your spirit was broken long ago.

And of course your colored sports heroes will be NOT be allowed to ‘take a knee’ or whatever they like during sporting events, except during touchdown celebrations. Those must remain as clownish and buffoonish as possible.

As well, we have initiated a program to hire more black coaches and General Managers in all the professional sporting leagues because we know how important it is to keep the masses happy and occupied with trivialities – while we go about our evil business. Sports play a major role in our conditioning program. ‘Bread and Circuses’ remains as valid a concept today as it was in Roman times, when our ancestors ruled.

We have asked Hollywood to cast more people of color in mass-produced movies, and they will follow our directives as always. Our previous attempts at public appeasement haven’t been as successful as we would have liked. Apparently, movie fans still haven’t been sufficiently fooled by our fake diversity initiatives.

We must pretend to work harder to earn your trust in the future, and we will!

GONE WITH THE WIND will no longer be shown on network TV, and movies which could be perceived as racist or sexist will be removed from NETFLIX and other pay channels, due to their offending nature (this includes virtually every US film made before 2008..).

Popular magazines like ELLE, SPORTS ILLUSTRATED and COSMO will have more black faces on the cover.

Just so you know: we know you think this means progress. It also sells more units.

Children’s cartoons and comic books will also now have at least two characters of whatever color.

Likewise, you will see more people of color showcased in TV commercials; and you have probably already noticed another new twist: more mixed race couples! Our studies have shown that the public responds positively to these images, and therefore they buy more products. That is another superficial gesture we can afford to make, even though some of these things are personally abhorrent to us, Your Rulers.

We might even make JUNETEENTH a Holiday!

Finally, and most importantly, we have directed our Tools in cities across America to placate the masses by initiating mild, unenforceable “police reforms” in their local police departments. In many cases, millions of taxpayer dollars will be spent on commissions and fact finding committees to formulate and recommend these “reforms”…which will then be appealed and ignored by the Police Unions.

There will be no de-funding of any police departments anywhere any time soon. That is not on the table. AND MAKE NO MISTAKE: police “brutality” will only increase in the coming years. So will prison populations. There isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. Just so you know.

But all in all, these small steps are designed to at least give the impression to you – the Unwashed Masses – that something is being done on your behalf, when in reality all of these measures will only serve to further enrich us. That’s the way it works. Sorry.

And of course you’ve always got your various monotheistic religions to keep you in line. They do most of the work for us…wink, wink..!

In any case, please let us know if you have any further questions or concerns; or if you can think of anymore token gestures we can make, be sure to ‘write your congressman’ (tee hee hee)!

Thank you, and keep up the good enslavement!

Now go back to sleep,

Your Rulers